Season 5 Chapter 2 Darkest Hour Live July 9

[Excerpt from the Lancer Association's Internal Employee Handbook.]

New janitorial and cleaning staff must familiarize themselves with the differing needs of designated Lancer quarters to avoid any unnecessary accidents and/or confrontations. As part of the onboarding process, please read and memorize the following by your first day:

Aura: While Ms. Ning Fu is often away from the Association on tour, she does occasionally stop by for a stay in our building. If she is away, you may enter her quarters as normal. Take extra care in ensuring absolutely no damage is done to her instruments. In the rare event she is staying with us, you should instead contact her agent (see Association Contacts, pgs. 4-10) to see if she would prefer cleaning service or to be left alone. Aura often uses her time here as an opportunity to decompress, away from all other people. Please respect her privacy! Do not ever ask her for an autograph or interview. Remember that she can hear your thoughts and will know you're coming anyway.

Axon: As one of Kepler's Lancers, Mr. Banks rarely spends much time in the Association building. His quarters here act as more of a gallery-studio combo. Do not show interest in his art. Do not comment on his art. Do not engage with his art. If Axon tries to strike up conversation about his art, politely redirect the conversation and inform him you have to get your work done. If he offers you any flyers, politely decline. And if he begins to grow agitated, leave.

Broker: Mr. Bradley is friendly to staff, generous with tips, and never a problem. Staff may accept tips if he offers them, but please be advised of the Association-appropriate limits on monetary "gifts" (see Bribery and Corruption Policies, pgs. 107-125). Otherwise, employees often find Broker to be one of the most pleasant Lancers to deal with. Do not touch his rockets.

Chum: Staff must never, under any circumstance, suggest that Chum is anything but human. Any employee found in violation of this policy will have their employment terminated immediately. We encourage all janitorial and cleaning staff to compliment Chum on how good of a human he is. DO NOT try to pet Chomper while in Chum's quarters: he is not a pet and he bites. Hard. It is almost assured that you will be invited to play "human games" while in this room, but we urge you to accept only if you have extra time.

Corona: Mr. Magnusson (also known as Mr. "Boswell") can be cranky, but he appreciates the help of all janitorial and cleaning staff, even if he does not say it outright. While you are in these quarters, ask him where he wants you to put his belongings; he is particular about the location of things and will grow even crankier if something is out of place. Corona is very specific with how he likes his room to be maintained and will be vocal if you change your patterns day-to-day. Stick to one routine and do not change it if you can help it.

Counterfeit: Once every other day you must drop off an Association-provided basket of apples at Ms. Silver's door. If you see children you do not recognize in this room, do not panic! Counterfeit often lets her adopted siblings use her quarters. In the rare event you do see Counterfeit on Association grounds, be advised that she may try to "prank" you with the clever use of illusions. These pranks, however, are not innocent: she will rob you if you are not vigilant. The Association is not responsible for any lost or stolen personal items.

Dex: Mr. Kor-Ka is a perfect host and will, depending on the time of day, invite you to have tea or meditate with him. You may accept this offer only if you are ahead of schedule. Otherwise, Dex's room is easy to maintain as long as you familiarize yourself with the section on Gektaran Living Conditions later in this handbook (see Our Inhuman Friends, pgs. 57-89). If you are lucky, he may even allow you to pet and/or hold his hatchling.

Hollowpoint: Ms. Milevska does not allow the entry of any Association staff into her quarters; even her fellow Lancers are forbidden. She takes care of her own cleaning and maintenance, and is quite competent at it. You may safely skip this room unless otherwise stated.

Hurricane: Mr. Greenstreet will try to apologize for the state of his quarters no matter how clean they are. Assure him that everything is fine and that no apology is necessary. You will likely need to do this multiple times over the course of your time in his room. Be patient. We also encourage you to ask how his schoolwork is going; it is our gentle way of reminding him of work he may have forgotten.

Ixchel: Ixchel is a busy woman and often absent from the building. She will try to do your work for you. If you decline, she will try to supervise and "coach" you on "proper form." It is almost guaranteed that no matter what you say, she will end up joining in to work alongside you. Understand that she does not think you are incompetent, and that her actions are well meaning. At the very least, your work in her quarters will get done faster than others.

Jaguar: DO NOT ENTER THIS ROOM. IF YOU ENTER THIS ROOM, YOU RISK CONFRONTATION AND BODILY HARM. ASSOCIATION EMPLOYEES ARE FORBIDDEN FROM ENTRY.

Kismet: Ms. Yan Dao is likely to strike up a conversation on philosophy with you. Do not worry about keeping up with her or about appearing foolish; she is incredibly easy-going and will not push if you are uncomfortable. However, please do not solicit Kismet for her fortune-telling services while on the clock.

Nitro: Knock on Ms. Lopes's door before trying to enter. If something heavy makes impact with the inside of the door, simply leave. Do not attempt to ask if she is okay, or if something is wrong. If, however, she calls out to you when you knock, that should be taken as permission to enter. When she is in one of these good moods, she will be friendly and chatty. Be prepared to end conversation, though—she has been observed to have no sense of natural conversational beats and WILL continue talking to you for hours uninterrupted if allowed. DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, TOUCH ANYTHING WITHIN NITRO'S WORKSHOP SPACE. This area is heavily guarded by automatic turrets, and there have been accidents. Cleaning and maintenance of her quarters should be isolated to her bedroom and bathroom areas.

Pathojen: DO NOT ENTER THIS ROOM. THIS ROOM IS A BIOHAZARD. ASSOCIATION EMPLOYEES ARE FORBIDDEN FROM ENTRY.

Serket: As you are likely aware, Ms. Ramsey is convinced she is a god. She WILL treat you like a servant, because she sincerely believes you are one. We understand this can be upsetting to staff, but because this delusion is core to her Lancerhood, there is nothing that can be done to fix or cure it. DO NOT indulge Serket's delusions more than absolutely necessary. If she tries to speak to you or ask you questions, keep your responses short and to the point. For the smoothest experience in these quarters, do your best to minimize or avoid interactions at all.

Sonar: You MUST check Sonar's streaming schedule before attempting to enter her room. Cleaning and maintenance can only be completed during her off hours. Ms. Manta is otherwise very agreeable as long as you do not touch her streaming setup; there is a specific tech crew that handles the upkeep of that section of her room. Please note that all janitorial and cleaning staff must, as part of the servicing of Sonar's quarters, be competent in the maintenance of Mariana water habitats (see Our Inhuman Friends, pgs. 57-89).

Spider: Regular cleaning and maintenance of Mr. Mikasa Izumi's quarters is both expected and demanded. His rooms should be the first ones you see to. However, you MUST be certain that he is absent from his quarters before you enter. This is not a request; Spider's contract contains assurances that Association staff will never enter while he is present. If he is inside his rooms when you start your day, you simply have to wait. Once you are inside, be careful not to touch any tech devices; past employees have suffered unwanted teleportation from unintended portal activations.

Wildstyle: Do not ever call Ms. Lovelock by her real name. She is quite friendly, but be advised that her room will be a mess no matter how often you visit it. Bring supplies suited to cleaning paint stains. Wildstyle will try to insist that she does not need you and that you can skip her quarters; you must politely press her on the matter until she agrees. Not only was this one of her parents' requirements in allowing her to be a Lancer, but the Association did, at one point, try to let her handle the cleaning of her own quarters. Results were disastrous. We cannot allow another repeat of that incident.

Windwalker: Reserve extra kindness for interactions with Sirocco, but do not expect conversation. His brooding may be uncomfortable, but it is harmless. If you wish, the Association can provide flowers to bring to his room. We have observed that this sometimes helps brightens his day.

Zephyr: Zephyr, like her Kepler co-Lancers, is rarely in the Association building. If she is present, however, she is known to follow staff in her quarters like a ghost. She WILL try to make you believe you are being haunted. Use your best judgment when deciding whether to enter the room or not.