Our New "Associate"
The Lancers are upset about the newest addition to the Corps. Broker has something to say about it.
[A pinned message in a private Association channel.]
Yo, Lancers! So you might’ve heard by now that we’ve got a new…associate joining us here at the Lancer Association. Hollowpoint and I have already talked with the higher-ups, but...there’s nothing we can do about it. We have to work with her. So I figured if we're really gonna have to do this, I might as well give you what info we have. Be prepared, and all that.
First up, simple: name. She’s called “Calamity,” and she's a robot who was created by Kepler to do their dirty work. Some genius roboticist inventor used experimental glunite technology to make her into…well, whatever she is. Whatever tech she's got in her is way above our pay grade. I dunno how it works, I just know it makes her real good at killing people.
And Calamity really seems to enjoy killing people. Kind of her whole thing, actually. Her entire combat cycle revolves around using blood and turning it into glunite to make herself more powerful—like some kinda tricked-out cyber-vampire. I gotta say, it’s a little creepy. You all know what I mean, right? Why even do all that when you can just blow stuff up instead? But who knows, maybe her bloodthirsty attitude will come in handy on missions. Like how Pathojen's uncomfortable obsession with fungi makes her a good healer out in the field? I dunno, I'm just trying to find a silver lining.
From what I understand, Calamity is more of the type to work alone. That's how she does all her work for Kepler, anyway. It’s hard to understand why she’d even want to work with us on a team. Hollowpoint has surmised that Kepler may be trying to win back the Association’s trust by sending Calamity to “help” us. Which she rightfully thinks is ridiculous. Leave it to Kepler to send a killer robot as a peace offering.
Anyway, we don’t know their long-term motivations, but something feels suspicious, so keep your guard up. We can’t trust her. Hollowpoint and I wanna offer the following guidelines for your consideration: avoid having conversations with Calamity outside of work. Don’t share any sensitive information with her. Keep everything strictly professional! And remember she isn’t our friend. Even Pathojen, Zephyr, and Axon avoid associating with her, and that’s saying something! The last thing we want is Calamity digging up dirt to screw up our personal lives.
On the bright side, I hear she likes gardening.
-Broker
