CONSPIRACY CORNER
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I received a lot of hate over my last Serket article. Some readers called me "cringe." Others sent private messages calling me a disgrace to journalism. I even had fellow theorists and extraterrestrial enthusiasts arguing Serket was clearly not an alien, but a shapeshifter or, in one case, a simple office worker (can you believe that?). I held my head high throughout the harassment, and now? Now I only have one thing to say to my detractors:
DON'T YOU FEEL STUPID?
As it turns out, your dear writer was correct the whole time! Not only is Serket an alien, but she's HERE, among us, carrying out otherworldly duties RIGHT NOW!
You may have noticed that the Kemet Shard was recently visited by a Serket who looks—and sounds—strikingly different from her usual self. Arrayed in an outfit straight off of traditional Kemeti tomb walls (more on that later), her bombast dialed in to an icy confidence commanding respect, this Serket provides irrefutable proof of her true origins as an alien queen. And while we don't yet know why she's taken off the divine disguise, she's clearly done hiding her nature.
I have colleagues in Akhet and Naos who have provided me with firsthand recordings of this "unveiled" Serket, and they offer stunning new insights into who she is, what she is, and what she wants. Seriously, readers, this is a gold mine. Take a look for yourself—I've transcribed some of the audio for your reading pleasure:
There's much more to dig through in the audio, and I plan to upload everything to my website once processing is complete. In addition to the recordings, however, it must be noted once more that Ramsa's current appearance bears an eerie likeness to a multitude of ancient Kemeti tomb carvings and paintings found throughout the Valley of Queens. Scholars have long debated the nature of these artworks, and while most have connected them to the creation myths of the ancient Kemeti people, there is far more dimension added to the story when viewed through the lens of the truth of Ramsa's alien nature. In many of these art pieces, the Ramsa figure descends from above, hovering over multitudes of bowing supplicants with stars at her back. It only makes sense that, as an alien, she would reach Kemet via space.
My working theory is that Ramsa once walked among Ancient Kemet, acting as an envoy of her race to share knowledge, technology, and glunite in exchange for worship. Something happened to make her disappear—that part I'm still trying to figure out—but it wasn't until millennia later, in the guise of Serket, that she returned to us. We may have needed to hit some sort of technological advancement threshold to prove we were "ready." Her next step is likely going to involve taking us home with her—but whether that bodes ill or well remains to be seen.
I am continuing to compile my dossier on Ramsa/Serket, and plan to have a whole new set of questions for her fan mail as soon as this weekend. Stay tuned for more of the truth! And yes, I'm going to be petty again: I hope all you readers who scorned me are finally coming around to real journalism.
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NEXT ARTICLE: Windwalker Is the Lizardman in My Basement!
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COMMENTS:
SandSkipper: PRAISE RAMSA! GREAT GODDESS, PLEASE TAKE ME WITH YOU!
BingBong2001: still cringe. get off the internet dude
xenoluvrxX: i wonder what her alien form looks like
MikaMayhem: How are you still being allowed to publish this crap??
