Personnel Report 2231 - CHUM
Various incidents occurred this week leading up to the winter festival involving CHUM.
Various incidents occurred this week leading up to the winter festival involving CHUM. Though harmless in intention, it appears Chum has been wreaking havoc for his fellow Lancers while attempting to get them into the “winter festival spirit”.
Incident #1: Chum spent an entire week in the Lancer cafétéria, perfecting his “special hot chocolate” recipe. He added all kinds of strange ingredients like machine oil, chromium powder, semi-sweet cobalt chunks and vanadium extract. He later offered it to Sonar and Aura, who were out in the foyer writing a new Tidal Fury song. Unwilling to hurt Chum’s feelings, they both forced themselves to try Chum’s brew. The duo has called in sick for the past three days.
Incident #5: Two days ago, Windwalker and Chum were spotted on an unofficial excursion to Tundra. Chum dragged what appeared to be a poorly constructed and home-made sled up the top of a large hill, with Windwalker not far behind. Upon going down the hill, the sled began breaking down under the immense speed. The whole sled eventually flipped over, catapulting Chum and Windwalker into a large snowbank. Chum jumped out, whooping and hollering that he had finally found the “winter festival spirit”. Windwalker seemed to be in a daze, staring up at the sky until Chum hauled him out of the snow bank.
Incident #11: Hollowpoint returned to Lancer HQ after a mission to find the entire compound decorated head to toe in extravagant lights and festival decorations. Axon and Chum had spent the day “winter-ifying” the base. Unfortunately, the sheer amount of energy being used to power all the decorations is what caused the temporary blackout on Monday. The black out meant Hollowpoint could not engage with her after-match relaxation routine of watching “Death Metal Dies Hard”. Needless to say, she lost her temper. Chum appeared dejected and disappeared from the base for several hours.
He was later found by Nitro, moping around at Delta’s Arcade. Chum confided in her, admitting that he had never celebrated the winter festival and all he wanted was for it to be the best festival ever! Nitro comforted him. “We’re together buddy,” she said. “That’s enough for me. There’s nothing you need to do.” This appeared to cheer Chum up.
Conclusion: No further action is needed, as it seems Nitro’s sympathy has settled Chum’s boundless ambitions. Please continue to monitor Chum during future festivities. It appears he knows little about how the world operates, and further actions like this could endanger Acme as we know it.
