[An excerpt from a longer interview masquerading as a promotion for Spider's new film.]
I catch Spider in my own web halfway through our interview, well after he's gotten comfortable boasting all about his role in Eight Legs, One Love. He's lounging, an easy smirk pulling at his lips.
I start simply: "Glunite."
"Glunite?" He arches a perfect brow.
"You're infused with it, aren't you?"
"Boring." The actor feigns a yawn. "Unrelated to the movie."
"No, no," I press, leaning forward with a friendly smile. "You're infused with it. You use it in all your recent action titles. Don't you think your fans are curious?"
He heaves a sigh. "There are plenty of interviews about that."
"About how you’re the hottest Lancer in Acme, yes, of course! But I want to know what you think of glunite itself. Your fans want to know."
I've appealed to his vanity. He exaggerates a pout and sits up in the chaise lounge."Fine. Anything for my darling fans.” Izumi's laugh is rich but, as ever, condescending. He shrugs. "We all know I was fabulous before the Smash-Up, but glunite's taken me to the next level. I can perform all kinds of stunts I couldn't risk before—without any fear at all."
"Because of the immo—"
"—immortality, yes. Being free of death is liberating! And has been very good for my career. Really, I'd have to say I adore glunite. I can't wait to see what it will do for me in the future."
He looks smug enough to punch, but I force a laugh. "And what about the Shards you harvest it from?”
“Sorry?” Spider looks puzzled. “I’m not following.”
“Kepler and Eastvale hire you to harvest glunite in other Shards all the time, right? I’ve read your other interviews. You travel through the portals that open up here, go somewhere else, collect as much as you can, then come back a hero. Acme needs glunite to keep itself stable; you and the other Lancers provide.
Do you mind if I ask a couple questions about that process? Nothing about the Lancer experience, I promise. You’ve done that to death.”
He narrows his eyes, and I move forward before he can collect his thoughts. “What do you think of the portal effects on our environment?"
"Our environment?" This time, Spider's laugh is incredulous. "You—you do know where we live, right? You've looked up at the sky? What are portals doing that hasn’t already been done?"
I pull a holo-record from my infobanks, project the images for him to see."You are aware that portals are opening more often, and growing more dangerous? Apparently Kepler and Eastvale are aware of the issue, but they just don’t care. Do you?"
"Oh, do not tell me—" His posture has straightened up now, and he looks disgusted. "You're trying to ambush me in the middle of a promotion?"
"I have a whistleblower who says the portals will only grow larger with time, and that eventually, a mega-portal will open and rip Acme to shreds. There won't be anything left. Care to comment?"
Spider is sneering now, looking at me like I've thrown mud on his clothes. He snaps: "I'm an actor, not a scientist. Go talk to someone at Kepler."
"You're a Lancer," I bite back. "Not just an actor.”
"Please," he scoffs, flicking a hand at me. "You think I asked to become a Lancer? You think any of us did? We have no idea why the Smash-Up chose some of us and not others. It's not all fun and games, sweetheart! Death is still painful! Coming back is painful! But I was given this gift for a reason, so I use it. I refuse to feel bad about that.”
“And what about those other Shards you’re always traveling to? If Acme needs a flow of glunite to maintain itself, what’s happening to the Shards you’re harvesting from? Are they inhabited? Have you checked? What about Kepler and East—"
He cuts me off: "You know what? I'm not doing this." I have to give him credit—that man can turn off his emotions like a switch. The brewing rage is instantly smoothed out into boredom. It's disheartening, but I make one final push.
"You have a platform, Izumi. Your following is huge! You could be using your influence for good. You didn't choose to be a Lancer, but we didn't choose to live in a world ripping itself apart. And if those other Shards are inhabited, they didn’t choose to live in worlds having their glunite supplies siphoned away,
worlds destabilizing, maybe even collapsing. If those findings are correct, you know who's gonna pay when the Big One opens up? It's gonna be everyone—"
But Spider is already gone, slamming the door behind him. I'm left with my anger and the crew, all of whom have gone awkwardly silent. His agent and all connected parties have since blocked me on any platform I've tried reaching out to them on.
You can enjoy Eight Legs, One Love when it releases this weekend.
