Chaos broke out in the New Harajuku District following a birthday celebration in honor of the mysterious Lancer known as Chum. Reports say Nitro and Chum were celebrating at JJ’s Diner [near Perdido Station] when Kismet crashed onto the scene chased by unknown assailants. The diner was severely damaged in the fight.
“First On a Roll and now this! The Lancers were here for a birthday party! I thought it’d be good for publicity but now my diner is in shambles,” stated JJ Rockhead, the restaurant owner, 42, told us between sobs. Mr. Rockhead said he did not see who attacked the party, as he and his patrons fled as soon as the fighting began.
Some witnesses claimed that Kismet was being pursued by agents from the corporate giant, Kepler. Kepler, however, has denied any responsibility. According to Kepler spokeswoman Naila Hadjas, “During the time of the reported fight, a number of portals spontaneously opened in the district. This may have caused mass hallucinations. We have hired Lancers Pathojen and Axon to close these portals and our charitable arm, Kepler Kares, is helping to organize rebuilding efforts.”
Another distressed witness, Winifred “Id” Nwodim, 32, claimed she saw Kismet and Axon battling in the air between two skyscrapers. “I think they were fighting over some kind of small object. I didn’t get a good look at it. Then there was a flash of light, and both of them disappeared completely,” she told us. “I mean, literally, one moment they were there, the next moment, the air is sort of shimmering and they're gone!” Kepler is graciously providing the witnesses with mental health treatments due to the lingering effects of these portal hallucinations.
Theories have sprung up about what this object could be. One Shard-ologist, Nella Hope Lynn, has her own hypothesis. “Kismet is from the Yong Shard. Magic works there. It's how their people harness Glunite,” she told reporters. “If portals didn’t cause this, an object from the Yong Shard maybe could have.”
When asked about the alleged object, Kismet told “I was out celebrating with Nitro and Chum. Then the world just went crazy. Weird things happen to me all the time,” she said with a shrug. “But tell Kepler to go kick rocks.”
The Lancer Association has not yet released a statement on the activities of Kismet, Nitro and Chum.
Neighbors who wish to join the effort in re-building the New Harajuku District can sign up through the Brick4Brick Foundation.
