Today, Acme’s Department of External Affairs announced the discovery of a Shard of intelligent polar bears!
Last week, Shard reconnaissance vessel the Aperture went through a new portal in the Kemet Shard. There, it found a thriving civilization of sentient humanoids closely resembling Terran polar bears一if polar bears were bipedal and could type. The new Shard has been tentatively dubbed "Te Kainga," after the bears’ name for their home.
Much like other Shards, the portal to Te Kainga appeared after the bears experienced their own instance of the Smash-Up, culminating in a massive glunite storm that ripped through the entire Shard. The Aperture arrived at a fortuitous time, as authorities were able to dispatch members of the Lancer Corps to assist. Lancers, of course, are immune to glunite exposure.
According to logistics personnel, the Lancers used "Steel Guard" assault armor during this mission. This line of armor is effective against extreme weather effects, as well as most small-caliber projectile attacks.
“I’m so glad we got here when we did,” stated Nitro, the Lancer Corps’ chief engineer. “The bears are really smart and nice, but they’ve lost power in most of their communities, and there are still a lot of places they can’t go because of the glunite storm.”
Noted network specialist Zephyr explained that many of the bears’ archives are offline. She is attempting to restore contact to them so Acme can learn more about Te Kainga and its inhabitants.
In addition, the Lancers returned to Acme with a new Lancer! While performing rescue operations in glunite-affected zones, they found a young polar bear whose name transliterates to “Tim Greenstreet,” who was caught in the storm while attempting to rescue a scientific team. Mr. Greenstreet has powers related to weather effects, perhaps derived from the glunite storm. Lancers have tentatively given him the codename “Hurricane.”
—— Acme 24 News Bulletin
