INT. KEPLER OFFICE - EVENING
PATHOJEN
Axon, hello! Your mask i s looking rather "festif" ! Bio-luminescence?
AXON
Pathojen? Don't you usually spend New Years alone? With your mushrooms?
PATHOJEN
Ahhh... I wanted to drop by here first... just for fun.
AXON
But you don't like people.
PATHOJEN
What can I say? Like mushrooms, we grow anew!
AXON
(launching into self-promo)
Well, you've just missed my holiday performance! It was spectacular--everyone was screaming and crying!
PATHOJEN
You must give me an encore ... some time.
AXON
And I've got a upcoming art piece that is going to reinvent society as we know it!
PATHOJEN
Oh! You must show me!
AXON
Oh, it's all up in my brain still. But once I make it physical... heheh, the world isn't ready!
PATHOJEN
I have many future experiments like that. I'm simply waiting for Kepler's green light.
AXON
... but my agent hasn't booked me a venue. Yet.
PATHOJEN
C'est la vie, for misunderstood artists like yourself.
AXON
My art might not be appreciated YET...
(slight threat)
But it will be.
(a little insecure)
My parents didn't really believe in me either...they only pretended.
PATHOJEN
(a little intense)
And how does that make you feel?
AXON
(troubled)
It's...it's not a great feeling. You wonder if you'll grow up to be a functioning adult. But look at me! I've defied the odds!
PATHOJEN
I was also an irregular child. Apparently dissection is not an acceptable hobby, hah!
AXON
(insistant)
You're unique! Special! Listen, P-Jen, When EVERYONE tells you you're wrong, that's when you know you're right!
PATHOJEN
But don't you wonder, sometimes, if everyone else is right?
AXON
(disturbed)
What if... what if they're right?
PATHOJEN
(nonchalant)
Ah, it's just a thought experiment. I do it all the time with my mushrooms.
AXON
(processing)
If they're right...then what am I? I'm just plain old Bill Banks with two plain parents. Art... is what makes me loved! ...Or at least noticed. Without art...
(choking up)
who...even...am... I?
PATHOJEN
(intrigued)
This feeling you have... is it affecting your performance on the battlefield?
AXON
(suspicious)
Hey. What's with all these questions?
PATHOJEN
I am purely interested in putting your creative genius under the microscope.
AXON
(realizing)
Are you assessing me? At the NEW YEAR'S PARTY???
PATHOJEN
No, of course not. At a party - bah! That would be so rude.
AXON
(freaking out)
You're a MUSHROOM doctor. And I'M NOT A MUSHROOM!
PATHOJEN
But... you do share some fascinating similarities...
AXON
(shrieking)
Did Kepler put you up to this? Do they think I'm not good enough anymore??
PATHOJEN
Kepler has BIG plans for the new year! We can't have any distracted operatives!
AXON
So... you don't actually care about me?? Or my artistic journey???
PATHOJEN
Axon, cheri, if you were a mushroom ... then I might care.
AXON
(sobbing)
And I thought we were having a moment! Ugh, I'm going home!
The recording cuts off.
