New Lancer Brings Ritual Combat to Acme
Acme audiences have been hoping for a new form of entertainment.
Ever since the Smash-Up ruined our chances for the Cirque du Soleil to pitch their tents here, Acme audiences have been hoping for a new form of entertainment. They finally got their wish with the new arena, The Jade Ring, opening in Acme. Ixchel, whose real name is Kalajuun Une’ Mo’ (or “12 Baby Macaws” in her language), was one of the top gladiators in Balamtok’s ritual combats until the Lancer Corps recruited her.
In Balamtok, when the representative assembly cannot come to an agreement, gladiators sort out the issue in trial by non-lethal combat. The god of their pantheon invoked prior to the match is believed to give victory to the gladiator that represents their desire. According to an anonymous source, this is also how the Balamtok leaders made the decision to open the Jade Ring. The decision sparked discourse among Balamtok leaders, and a handful of Shamans are still protesting the Jade Ring. Ixchel has made it clear she is not backing down.
The first matches will headline Ixchel against mixed martial arts legend Showdown, Eastern style swordsman Hattori, and a six-armed Kepler Mark VII combat bot. Other fighters include Ehlloy the archery master, and ex-Kepler assassin, Sheeka Slayter. The full slate of matches can be found on the Jade Ring website.
Ixchel herself clarified that after the opening ceremoy, she will not be fighting any Lancers in the arena. “I’ve already conquered all of them, except for one,” she stated. Ixchel refused to elaborate further, but a source that asked not to be named claimed that Jaguar defeated Ixchel, and that is why she agreed to move to Acme.
When contacted for comment by this paper, Mayor Ed Vaganza stated “it’d be pretty crazy to make decisions by ritual combat, wouldn’t it? But it’s gotta be more fun than committee meetings. Tell you what, get us some box seats and we’ll look into it.”
